Gossiping at the school gate has been stepped up by the government. The children’s secretary, Ed Balls, is launching a new social networking site for parents – a “virtual school gate” for every secondary school in England this week, as the BBC reported today.

The Guardian reported:

The new social networking site – which will enable parents to communicate in a system based on the Netmums website for new mums – was ordered by the children’s secretary, Ed Balls.

Those considering a school for their child will be able to contact the parents of pupils already learning there to find out more about it.

Parents will be able to share advice and information about education, contact teachers and check whether children are telling the truth about the amount of money they need for lunch, the homework they have been set and coursework deadlines.

The scheme has raised concerns over parents spreading gossip about teachers. While the platform may be a good way of parents staying connected to school activity instead of relying upon their incommunicative children, it raises questions about whether social media is enhancing or curbing social skills?

Here are my ideas for other social networking platforms (some of which already exist):

Girls Night Online

Forget the girls’ night in, just go online and chat about all the fun and gossip that could be had

Over the hedge

Remove the need to chat to your neighbour by signing in. Forum topics could include ‘Have you seen the size of Mrs. Lines’s knickers hanging on the washing line?’, ‘Was it you who stole my milk?’, ‘Isn’t it terrible the post arrives so late?’ and ‘When is the next bin day?’ Try NeighboursUnited or LocalConnections

Virtual club doorway

The perfect space to swap people-watching observations and jeer at queue pushers – why bother with the hassle of going out at all?

Students’ ‘morning after the night before’

Discuss last night’s antics with the rest of your housemates from the comfort of your bed, without even having to brave-face it to the scummy kitchen table.